Season 8 rewrite. Puff the Mighty Dragon

Published May 26, 2019 · Updated July 6, 2022

OK, Guys.

You have only yourselves to blame for me writing this and you having to read it. I don’t know how I got “Puff the magic dragon” in my head as an idea for the season rewrite, but it got stuck in there and had to come out. So I give you, “Puff the Mighty Dragon” (A Tale of Fire and Even More Fire), a parody by Steve Vincena, obviously meant to be sung to the tune of “Puff the magic dragon.”

Thanks for your incredible work these last eight seasons. It’s been a great ride. I’m also happy to continue to enjoy your insight and humor on your other podcasts.

Lots of love from Los Angeles,
Steve Vincena

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Puff the mighty dragon, lived ‘cross the sea
And frolicked in the autumn grass with mommy Khaleesi
Puff the mighty dragon, high above Meereen
He’d fly with mamma on his back; they called her Dragon Queen.

Puff was very happy, though mom hated when he’d kill
She promised just to bide his time. He’d get to prove his skill Then one day they left there, little did they know,
They’d fight the Night King and his wights with little Johnny Snow.

Funny little Johnny, he smelled a lot like man,
but something else was kinda weird, he smelled Targaryen!
Puff guessed that’s why he likes her and she thinks he’s the best If they should wed and hop in bed, best not to think incest!

The Night King, he was cocky; he didn’t even know
You shouldn’t fuck with dragons when you’re made of ice and snow John, sorry ’bout your brother, and your little sis
Puff really had to pour it on. He didn’t want to miss.

Now the Night King’s melted, and all his minions cracked
Puff hoped to fly back o’er the sea to have his old life back. But mamma said we’re not done, and south we have to fly
We’ve got a city to burn down and thousands left to fry

Oh,
Puff the mighty dragon, lived ‘cross the sea
And frolicked in the autumn grass with mommy Khaleesi
Puff the mighty dragon, lived ‘cross the sea
And frolicked in the autumn grass and snacked on Dothraki

Well, people have to die now; it’s gotten kinda slow
So on my back, let’s sneak attack, and give ’em quite the show Now dragon’s fire is hotter than anything by far
We torched their ships and blew up shit and burned ’em to a char

And now Puff’s mommy’s happy. She’ll sit the iron throne
Meanwhile he’s told to guard her and wait amongst the bones
Then little Johnny Snowball, he asked to be let in
Puff guessed it didn’t matter now, John’s practically his kin

But just a minute later, Puff felt a stabbing pain
The psychic link inside his head said momma had been slain!
He quickly flew to see to see her, and howled, “It can’t be true!” But Puff had felt what happened then and deep inside he knew

The only one he found there was mom’s love, Johnny Snow
Puff knew how much she loved him and thought he’d let him go
But momma’s blood was spilling; he must have stabbed her dead So Puff did what good dragons do, and bit off Johnny’s head!

Puff the mighty dragon, flew ‘cross the sea
But now to Old Valyria, where dragons ought to be
Maybe Puff did find them. Maybe they were lost.
But if he did, he’ll bring them back in force to Westeros

Puff the mighty dragon, lived ‘cross the sea
And frolicked in the autumn grass with mommy Khaleesi
Puff the mighty dragon, lived ‘cross the sea
And frolicked in the autumn grass and snacked on Dothraki

Steve Vincena

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