Hardbodies (1984)

Shat The Movies was made for movies like “Hardbodies,” a motion picture originally planned for the Playboy Channel but released in theaters because America needed boobs.
This 1985 skin flick has all the tropes you’d expect: women in bikinis, beach parties, waterbeds and cheesy lines. But “Hardbodies” surprised us with a few unexpected moments: a no-means-no stance on sexual harassment, a heartwarming makeover scene, an exploration of aging and a woman banged so hard she bursts through the roof of a limousine.
In this episode, the Shat Crew explores the charm of bad writing, what qualifies as transactional sex and how marketing ruins everything. Gene marvels at the many kinds of breasts he didn’t know existed, and Dick debates with Ash on whether America has gotten fatter or cinema has become more inclusive.
Plot Summary: In the 1984 comedy Hardbodies, directed by Mark Griffiths, Grant Cramer stars as Scotty Palmer, a laid-back beach bum who has mastered the art of seducing women on the sunny shores of Southern California. When three middle-aged men—Hunter (Gary Wood), Rounder (Michael Rapport), and Ashby (Sorrells Pickard)—arrive at the beach hoping to relive their youth and attract younger women, they quickly realize they’re out of their depth in the modern dating scene. Desperate for help, they hire Scotty to teach them his smooth-talking ways and the tricks of the beachside dating world.
Scotty takes on the challenge and begins coaching the trio on how to attract “hardbodies,” slang for beautiful young women. The men eagerly follow Scotty’s advice, learning everything from beach lingo to the art of picking up women. As they throw wild parties and attempt to live the carefree beach lifestyle, hilarious misunderstandings and outrageous situations ensue.
However, things get complicated when Scotty begins to fall for a beautiful local girl, Kristi (Teal Roberts), and starts to question the morality of his ways. As Scotty navigates his feelings for Kristi, he must decide whether to continue helping the men with their shallow pursuits or grow beyond his carefree bachelor lifestyle.
Hardbodies is a lighthearted, sun-soaked comedy that embraces the fun and freedom of the 80s beach scene, filled with slapstick humor, party antics, and plenty of beachside mischief. Join our podcast review as we revisit this cult favorite, exploring its memorable one-liners, summer vibe, and whether its humor and charm still resonate with modern audiences.
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