Bummed

Published May 4, 2020 · Updated July 6, 2022

Hiya lovely folks,

Hope you’re doing well wherever you all are. Overcast in Pittsburgh, with a peek of blue here and there.

I don’t really follow sports despite living in a city where football is a Big Effing Deal, so much so that you can easily track how we’re doing just by observing the mood on any given face on any given Monday/Tuesday/Friday. “Why’s Joey being such a dick today? Oh, yeah, guess we’re out of the playoffs.” I’ve never gotten how folks could get so cranky and bitter over a a few folks failing to pull off something that ultimately holds no real practical value, anyway.

I feel kind of different today. I feel like my team lost, but in a pretty crappy way: like a 4th quarter interception and a failed field goal attempt kind of loss. I love this show and it makes me really sad to see it fall apart enough in the plot/technical sense that it really detracts from what has always been for me a great story about the nature of humanity. I’m going to keep watching because I guess I’m the kind of fool with some kind of faith. That being said, I also kept watching season 2 of True Detective, hoping it would turn up better in the end, and I kept watching Lost through the end. There’s some part of my brain that cannot comprehend a decline in quality in real time: I once ended up at a late night showing of Saw 5 and kept rationalizing how utterly shit it was by telling myself it was satire. It wasn’t. I was tired, and too damn close to the screen, and it was really, really bad.

Might also be bummed because now that the season’s over I feel somewhat unmoored. Getting to interact with you and other folks in the fandom has been a really fun way to stay somewhat grounded and sane in these very weird times. (Warning for perhaps an overshare, but it seems relevant: Westworld was a show I watched with and geeked out over with a long-term partner. That relationship went quite badly kaput last fall, and I’m living on my own for the first time in half a decade. It’s hard to enjoy things when they’re weighted down with those kinds of associations, and everything’s harder now for being stuck inside. I thank you all for giving me a way to interact with the show and not just be bummed out about it on some level the whole time. Shappy hour has been a big delight, especially.

With love and a bit of sadness,
Bicamerelle

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