Who Would Have the Best Game of Thrones Stag Party?

Published August 16, 2017 · Updated July 6, 2022

Hi guys,

Love the Pod but feel like you’ve missed the most important aspect of the Game of Thrones. Which of the key players would have the best Stag Do (Stag Party for your predominantly American listeners). I’ve broken this down below and can only come to the conclusion that Tyrion must end GoT on the Iron Throne for having the best Stag Do.

Jaime: really tragic and terrible stag do

Qyburn – one creepy older guy who has a weird relationship with Jaime’s fiancee.
Gregor – even creepier massive bloke who doesn’t speak ever and just gets in random fights.
Bronn, the Best man who his fiancee absolutely hates but he has to be invited because has saved his life a few times. His speech at the wedding will be hilarious but inappropriate

His brother and fiancee don’t get along, so his brother isn’t invited because he doesn’t want to upset his fiancée. Fiancee doesn’t let him stay out late.

Conclusion: Shambles, no mates. Should have gone bros before hos a LONG time ago.

Jon: Mixed bag stag do

Bran, the emo younger brother who has no interest in marriage because love and happiness are illusions and anyway we’re not really brothers.
Davos. Great man to have. A bit older, but knows how to get you into (i.e. smuggle you into) all the clubs. Probably saves the day when the best man inevitably shits the bed. Good for anyone struggling to “rise to the occasion” with some Fermented crab. Excellent wingman.
Gendry. The younger guy who always goes way too hard, tries to impress everyone and is super impressionable
Tormund. Slightly weird friend of Jon’s “from work” who isn’t mates with anyone else and obsessed with finding large women. Drinks weird stuff.
Sam, best man who doesn’t really like going out, probably arranges a life drawing class of a man by accident or Celine Dion for the activity part of the weekend.
Tyrion, excellent man to have on any stag do. The God of Tits and Wine (see below)
Littlefinger, that one sly mate who is always trying to shag his sister or step mum. Terrible bloke.
A few “new mates” seemingly hastily acquired just to flesh out the numbers.

Conclusion – too big a party, too many weak links, party have too diverse interests and Jon is left trying to fix his own Stag Do.

Tyrion – absolute tear up Stag Do

One week bender in Ibiza, what happens on tour stays on tour.

Jaime, loaded older brother, the downside of HAVING to make him best man offset by the fact that he’s good looking and HIS HAND IS LITERALLY MADE OF GOLD. Desperately needs to let off steam so will be super pumped for it.
Greyworm, who now loves telling jokes and also very handy to have around if it kicks off with any other stag dos.
Bronn, who probably knows all the best stripclubs.
Mormont, is a bit serious and a bit old, but can match everyone drink for drink. High pain threshold means he knows how to get through a hangover.
Varys. The fixer, can you anything you need. Especially whores.
Theon. Used to be a philanderer but now limited to Wingman duties, a useful “straight man”.
Jon. Generally brooding, probably takes a while to get warmed up, but girls love him because he’s so damned handsome. He only wants to talk about global warming though, so best suited to loud nightclubs.
Unnamed Dothraki (think he’s called Qhoggo) – got absolutely no filter, sure to do something outrageous very, very loudly.

Conclusion – tight group, big boozers everywhere, no real weak link. Stag do for the ages.

Jonny D, London, UK.

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