GOT S8 Rewrite

Published May 29, 2019 · Updated July 6, 2022

Hey guys

Even in a truncated season, I believe Daenerys’ turn would be more acceptable if only we had access to her thoughts. This could be achieved even as late as Season 8, Episode 4 where we see Dany at the feast in Winterfell, sitting alone with her Starbucks beverage which she is clearly not drinking:

“This sucks. Everyone is ignoring me including Jon – he and Tormund should get a room together. And of course, these Northerners got my drink order wrong. Grande Chai Tea Latte, 3 Pumps, Skim Milk, LITE Water, No Foam, Extra Hot. How fucking hard is that to remember? Hey Tormund: I too ride dragons and if I’m not mistaken you were shotgun on the queen’s Saved Your Sorry Ass Express six episodes ago!

Sansa. WOW. The balls on THIS motherfucker. Want an independent North? The rightful queen of the seven kingdoms wants a DECENT STARBUCKS FIRST. Believe I’m being reasonable here…

Thank you, Cersei SO much for killing my fake bestie in the whole world. I’ll miss the intimate conversations we never had Missandei. Your smooth mocha skin always reminded me of a delicious, warm Chai Tea Latte.

I swear to god that dickless bastard Varys is trying to poison me. You call this shit a beverage? Guess what else you lack Varys: A COMPETENT BARISTA

Alright Tyrion and Jon: the little engines that couldn’t. The bells are rung! Speaking of… wait. NOT ONE FUCKING TACO BELL IN ALL OF KING’S LANDING? And where did all the Starbucks employees go??? GAH! FUCK IT! EVERYONE MUST DIE!!!”

Thank you guys for giving all of us a voice. The lone wolf dies, the pack vents their frustrations online

Noah in Chicagoland

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