A Summary for Dummies Like Me

Published May 19, 2019 · Updated July 6, 2022

Hi guys!

I’m new to the podcast, but love everything you’re doing! I wrote this summary of Game if Thrones to help me keep track of what”s going on/remember that x is mad at y for something that happened three seasons ago. (It”s confusing!!) It”s not a scene by scene recap, but just the essentials of the major plot points. I haven’t read the books so this is only based on the show. Things sometimes get a little out of order as I try to follow certain plot lines. I’m sure I misunderstood things and have stuff wrong, so I would love to know what “um, actuallies” you have for me. Thanks for your analysis and helping me think deeper about the show and all our favorite characters! I listen to several GOT podcasts and yours is definitely my favorite!

Lyanna Stark was supposed to marry Robert Baratheon, but a Targaryen kidnaps her. Robert starts the war to get her back, and takes power. Lyanna dies anyway. Targaryen rapes Lyanna, resulting in Jon Snow Targaryen. (Or so we believe!). Actually Lyanna willingly married Rhaegar.

Robert Baratheon names Ned Hand of the King. The Starks go to King’s Landing. Robert dies. Ned finds out Jamie and Cersei are incestuous and Joffrey isn’t a rightful king. Before the season starts the last hand of the king, Jon Arryn, was poisoned, (maybe because he figured out Cersei and Jaime were sleeping together.). Little Finger and Lysa Arryn behind Jon Arryn”s death. Cersei has Ned killed, even though he admitted treason to protect the girls! wtf

Arya flees King”s Landing pretending to be a boy headed for the Nights watch. She gets together with The Hound, who plans to return her to Robb. When they finally get to the Red Wedding and everyone is killed, the Hound takes her Eyrie, but Aunt Lysa is already dead too. They eventually run into Brienne and Podrick. Brienne almost kills the Hound and Arya sets off on her own for Braavos.

Catelyn thinks Tyrion tried to kill Bran (cause his knife) so she sent him to her crazy sister Lysa, but Bronn saves him from the Moon door.

Robb becomes a pretty good military leader and the Northerners decide he should be king. Robb captures Jaime, but Catelyn secretly sets him free in exchange for Arya and Sansa. She sends Brienne with him. Jaime and Brienne are captured by the Boltons, who cut off Jaime”s hand.

Robb marries Talisa and impregnates her, breaking the contract to marry a Frey. To make up for this, Catelyn”s brother is going to marry a Frey daughter. But at the wedding Roose Bolton and Frey”s people kill the Starks and Tullys. Red Wedding was actually Tywin”s plan (but I don’t really know why…).

The Targaryens used to be in charge, but they were crazy (too much in breeding) and were overthrown when Jaime kills Mad King Aerys Targaryen. Daenerys hatches some dragon eggs and starts amassing an army so she can reclaim power.

At the Stark/Lannister battle Tyrion meets Shae and brings her to Kings Landing disguised as Sansa”s handmaid, then tries to send her away for her own safety.

Stannis thinks he should be king because he”s actually a Baratheon, unlike Joffrey or Tommen. Melisandre thinks he”s, like, God chosen to rule. (someone reincarnated?) Renly Baratheon also thinks he should be king. Smoke Stannis kills Renly, Catelyn and Brienne flee.

Stannis attacks King’s Landing and Tywin Lannister wins (allied with the Tyrells), so Joffrey stays on the throne. Tyrion helps in defending King”s Landing, and Podrick saves Tyrion”s life. (Joffrey tried to have him killed). House Arryn and House Martell remain neutral.

Theon Greyjoy was raised by the Starks because his father (Balon) rebelled against the throne, was defeated, and was allowed to keep ruling the Iron Islands if he gave Theon to the Starks as a hostage/ward). He goes back to the Iron Islands and tries to get dad”s approval. He takes over Winterfell and fake kills Bran and Rickon. He”s captured and tortured by Ramsay Snow/Bolton.

Oberyn Martell comes as a guest for Joffrey’s wedding, but really wants revenge because his sister Elia was killed. (The Mountain raped and killed his sister and her children).

Margaery Tyrell marries Joffrey, and her grandmother, Olenna, (with Baelish”s help) poisons him. Purple wedding. Tyrion is accused of killing Joffrey, and choses trial by combat. Both the Mountain (kinda) and Oberyn Martell are killed. Sansa is forced to marry Tyrion (keeping her as a good Stark hostage), who is a good guy about it, but escapes without him when it becomes clear that he”s going to be executed. Baelish smuggles Sansa out because he”s in love with Catelyn. Baelish marries and kills Lysa Arryn, and takes control of the Vale.

Jaime and Varys help Tyrion escape. On his way out of town Tyrion finds Shae sleeping with Tywin and kills them both.

Melisandre gets Gendry”s blood (aka King Robert”s blood) via leeches and puts them in the fire to make a spell to kill Robb Stark, Balon and Joffrey. Robb, Balon and Joffrey are shown to be false kings. Ser Davos sets Gendry free so Stannis doesn’t kill him. Melisandre convinces Stannis to head to the wall to fight off white walkers.

Bran and co. head toward the wall looking for the three eyed raven and to meet up with Jon. They split up- Osha and Rickon heading toward Greatjon Umber. The rest keep looking for the crow beyond the wall. Jojen gets killed, and the Children of the Forest save Bran, Meera and Hodor. He sees the crow in a weirwod tree and is promised he”ll fly.

The Brothers encounter Craster”s keep. Craster is killed and Gilly goes to live with Sam. Sam kills a white walker with dragonglass. Craster”s baby gets turned into a White Walker.

Jon Snow goes off to kill some wildlings who are threatening the wall. He”s captured, kills Qhorin halfhand pretending to be a defector, gains the trust of the wildlings, and bones Ygritte. Jon abandons the wildlings (and Ygritte) and escapes to Castle Black. The wildlings attack Castle Black, Ygritte is killed. Jon goes to make a deal with Mance Rayder, but suddenly Stannis shows up!

Daenerys keeps building her army and council. Mormont, Barristan Selmy and Daario help. She captures Yunkai and Meereen and frees the slaves. Drogon takes off, and the other two dragons are chained up because they”re burninating the peasants.

The Kingdom, run by the Lannisters, is in major debt and the war has left commoners impoverished and disgruntled. Margaery marries Tommen. Cersei doesn’t like Margary and uses the Faith Militant to get her brother arrested for gay sex. Margaery is arrested for lying under oath and Cersei is arrested for adultery and murdering Robert Baratheon.

Tyrion and Varys head to Meereen to help put Khaleesi in charge of Westeros. Mormont kidnaps Tyrion also going to Meereen to try to get back on Khaleesi”s good side.

The Bolton”s hold Winterfell. Littlefinger arranges for Sansa to marry Ramsay. Sansa is hoping Stanis will take back Winterfell and make her warden of the North. Ramsay beats Sansa and locks her up. Stannis is getting ready to attack winterfell and Melisandre says she prophesied that he will win, but sacrifices his daughter to help ensure his victory. Half of Stannis” army desserts, and Melisandre flees to Castle Black. Theon and Sansa eventually escape during the battle between Stanis and the Boltons. Brienne kills Stannis because he killed Renly.

Myrcella was betrothed to Trystane Martell to keep House Martell neutral, and Oberyn gets a seat at the small council. Jamie and Bronn go to Dorne to rescue Myrcella. Ellaria talks the Sand Snakes into avenging Oberyn”s death. They fight and they all get locked up. Doran Martell learns that Ellaria sent a threatening message to Cersei and allows Jaime to take Myrcella back, as long as Trystane can also go back to serve on the small council. Ellaria poisons Myrcella as they leave. Ellaria kills Doran, and the Sand Snakes kill Trystane.

Arya”s training to be a faceless man. She kills Trant (who liked sex with girls), but because that was not her life to take, she is struck blind, learns to live and fight blind, then gets her sight back. She doesn’t follow instructions to kill the actress and Jaqen orders her killed.

Tormund and Jon go North of the Wall to talk the wildlings into allying with the Night”s Watch against the White Walkers in exchange for being allowed to settle south of the wall, but the White Walkers show up and everyone is zombied. Some of the Night”s Watch are mad because Jon invited the wildlings in, so they kill him. The wildlings and other Night”s Watch fight back and the mutineers surrender. Melisandre raises Jon from the dead, he hangs Alliser and the other mutineers, and gives command of Castle Black to Edd.

Daenerys tries to deal with the Sons of the Harpy and keep peace in Meereen. She gets the leaders of the great families of Meereen together and feeds one to her dragons. She marries Hizdahr and reopens the fighting pits. Jorah and Tyrion are sold to a slave trader to be a fighter, and are taken to Meereen. Daenerys hired Tyrion as an advisor. In the middle of fighting in the Great Games, Jorah saves Daenerys from the Sons of the Harpy. The sons of the Harpy attack, and Hizdahr is killed. Drogon shows up, and Dany rides him out to the middle of nowhere. Dany encounters some Dothraki , and burns some of their leaders. Daario and Jorah are there too, and Dany sends Jorah off to cure his greyscale.

Tyrion, Missandei and Grey Worm are ruling Meereen, with Varys” spies to help. They note that Daenerys is accumulating enemies and her ships were burned and they can’t sail to Westeros. Astapor and Yunkai have been retaken by the masters. The slaves masters of Astapor, Yunkai and Volantis are financing the Sons of the Harpy.

Cersei atones for her sins and is allowed to return to the Red Keep. The Mountain is Frankensteined. Margary and Tommen form an alliance with the Faith Militant. Tommen removes Jaime from Kingsguard and orders him to help Walder Frey retake Riverrun from the Blackfish.

Roose Bolton is mad that Ramsay lost Sansa, as she would have helped get Northern allegiance. Ramsay kills his father, stepmother and new brother, which could have threatened his inheritance. Sansa and Theon escape. Smalljon Umber makes an alliance with Ramsay, fearing the Wildlings will head south. Umber gives Ramsay Rickon and Osha. Ramsay kills Osha.

Sansa meets up with Brienne, and they eventually get to Castle Black. Baelish tells her Brynden Tully is getting an army together at Riverrun and offers to help take back the North, but Sansa declines his help.

Theon goes to the Iron Islands and advocates for his sister to rule. The Northern armies are winning against the Greyjoys, but Balon wants to continue trying to invade the North. His brother Euron throws Balon off a bridge. Yara and Theon flee.

Bran is warging back in time. During Robert”s Rebellion Young Eddard and Howland Reed kill Dayne, who was guarding the Tower of Joy. His presence in Winterfell causes Wylis/Hodor”s disability. We learn the Children of the Forest created White Walkers to protect them from the first men. The White Walkers attack the cave, kill Hodor and the 3 eyed raven and Bran and Meera wander out into the woods. Benjen helps them, then drops them off near the wall.

The old Masters attack Meereen. Dany and her new Dothraki army fight them, and she gains some more ships. Yara and Theon show up and team up with Daenerys. They head toward Kings Landing to finally take the throne.

Edmure surrenders Riverrun to the Freys/Lannisters, and the Tullys go to help fight for Winterfell. Without Jon Snow”s knowledge, Sansa allies with Little finger and gets the Knights Vale. Battle of the Bastards, Starks retake Winterfell and Ramsay”s dogs eat him. Arya goes to Riverrun and kills Walder Frey and a couple other Frey”s.

Cersei (with Qyburn”s help) wildfires the Faith Militant, Margaery and Loras Tyrell, and a bunch of other people. Tommen kills himself and Cersei takes the throne. Olenna goes to Dorne and allies with Ellaria.

Jon Snow finds out Melisandre was partly responsible for killing Shireen, and throws her out of Winterfell. People declare Jon king of the North. We find out Jon is Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen”s son.

Jon Snow unites the northern houses and wildlings to fight the white walkers. Melisandre, House Tyrell and Martell ally with Daenerys in Dragonstone. Euron attacks and kills Theon/Yara/Martels on the way to Dorne. Theon jumps ship and survives. Cersei kills Elaria. The Lannisters invade Highgarden to get money to pay their debt to the bank of Braavos, and Jaime kills Olenna Tyrell. Daenerys attacks Jamie/the Lannisters on the way back to King”s Landing.

Sansa, Arya, and Bran all make it back to Winterfell. Sansa rules in Jon”s absence. They execute Littlefinger for killing Lysa.

Jon and Davos go to Dragonstone to get Daenerys to help fight white walkers. She”s not on board, but let”s him mine for Dragonglass. Jon and company go beyond the wall and capture a wight as proof of their existence. Daenerys saves them, but a dragon is killed and White Walkered. Jon surrenders to Daenerys and they have hot, hot sex (and Danny gets knocked up??). Missandei gets some too.

Cersei rules in King”s Landing. Told Euron Greyjoy he would marry him after they defeat Daenerys. Euron brings Ellaria Sand and her daughter Tyene, and Cersei poisons Tyene in revenge for Ellaria poisoning Myrcella. Cersei and Jaime are having an Incest Baby!

Tyrion tried to get a ceasefire between the Lannisters and Daenerys, and fight the Night King together. Daenerys, Tyrion and Jon show Cersei the Wight. Cersei is still planning to attack Daenerys and Jamie decides to leave King”s Landing and help Daenerys to help fight the Night King.

Night King and Undead Dragon destroy part of the Wall, and a bunch of White Walkers head South. Danerys brings her dragons The Unsullied, and the Dothraki to help defend Winterfell from the Night King. They, along with the Wildlings and lots of other houses fight the Battle of Winterfell and Arya kills the Night King/all the undead. Jorah, Lyanna and Theon die in the battle. Melisandrae takes off her magic necklace and dies.

Jon tells Arya and Sansa he”s a Targaryen and heir to the throne. Sansa tells Tyrion, Tyrion tells Varys, and Varys writes a bunch of letters and tells everyone. Danerys kills Varys.

Jamie goes South, and is captured, but Tyrion sets him free to try to appeal to Cersi to surrender and avoid the city being destroyed.

Danerys and co head south to take King”s Landing. Euron surprises them at Dragonstone, kills a dragon and captures Missandei. Cersi kills Missandei when neither Cersi or Danerys are willing to surrender. Danerys attacks Kings Landing and burns EVERYONE, even after the city surrendered. The Hound kills the Mountain, and himself in the process, and Jamie kills Euron. Cersi and Jamie die together. Arya survives.

Andrea Greco

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